Cognitive Biases That Prevent Us From Predicting How We’ll Feel About Divorce and Other Life Changes

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It’s impossible to fully understand the experience of divorce until you go through it yourself. Many divorcees are shocked by the contrast between real-world divorce and their preconceived notions. Why do our predictions differ so wildly from reality? Read on to find out.

Assumptions of a Similar World

Picture your future. What will your life look like one year from now? How about in five years? If you’re like most people, your short-term predictions closely resemble your current life.

Expert Jason Hreha explains that we are bound by cognitive limitations, particularly our current state of mind. For instance, if you work as a nurse, you likely assume you’ll still be a nurse in five years. If you live in the suburbs, you probably envision yourself in the same house, or perhaps a modest upgrade.

Divorce, however, can drastically change these expectations. In an effort to console yourself, you might envision a life without your ex, but otherwise identical to your current circumstances. For example, if you spend a lot of time with your kids, you may assume you’ll secure custody without much difficulty. Similarly, you may not picture yourself living in a cramped studio apartment — instead, you imagine staying in your current home, just without the wedding photos.

Your perception of divorce may also be influenced by your present relationship dynamics. If you and your spouse constantly argue, you might assume that this tension will persist — even during mediation. Conversely, if you generally get along, you may be caught off guard by unexpectedly aggressive behavior in court.

Creatures of Habit

Why do our current feelings play such a significant role in our assumptions about the future? Our reliance on habit and routine may be to blame. Day-to-day life often feels like a series of predictable routines, making it difficult to imagine anything different. In reality, habits account for only about 40% of our behavior. The rest is shaped by new stimuli or circumstances that are often beyond our control. Thus, how we act today may be a poor predictor of our behavior tomorrow, as tomorrow’s environment could be vastly different.

Prepare for the Unexpected in Divorce

Before moving forward with divorce, it’s crucial to gain a clearer understanding of what to expect and how a skilled Virginia divorce attorney can help you navigate any unanticipated challenges. Don’t hesitate to reach out to DiPietro Law Group to schedule a consultation. You can call us at (888) 530-4374, or fill out an online case evaluation form here.

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