If you are preparing for a divorce, or going through a divorce in Virginia in the 2020s, you likely have questions about how to avoid social media mistakes along the way. You may have heard alarming stories from friends about the social media mistakes they made during divorce themselves – shared as warnings to help you avoid similar outcomes. The most appropriate social media behavior during divorce will depend on the circumstances of the individual case, but as a general rule family law attorneys typically advise their divorce clients to pause and think carefully before sharing any content of a personal nature while the divorce is ongoing. A conversation with an experienced Fairfax divorce attorney at DiPietro Law Group may help you to develop a personal plan for managing your social media accounts as your case moves forward. Call (866) 607-3461 to schedule a time.
Recognizing Social Media
A 2021 research article published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking and made available to the public through the National Library of Medicine (NLM) notes that, since the term was first coined in the 1990s, social sciences researchers have used social media as “an umbrella term” describing many different types of online platforms. Although they generally share – as the name suggests – some element of peer-to-peer sharing among their core functions, these platforms may include examples as wide-ranging as:
- Business networks
- Microblogs
- Photo sharing websites or software applications (apps)
- Blogs
- Social bookmarking (often a collaborative reading experience)
- Online multiplayer video gaming
The specific access permissions, privacy controls, and content norms differ widely across these many types of social media. However, the online activity divorce case consequences can be similar, regardless of platform. These consequences are generally related to those that individuals may experience as a result of overly broad sharing in their offline lives; the difference, however, is that it can be much easier to “broadcast” highly personal information via a social media website or app than it might be to announce the same kind of information to the crowd at a business conference, or in an all-hands meeting at work. The ease of incautious posting has led Facebook divorce evidence to appear in many family law cases over the past 20 years.
Basic Divorce and Social Media Tips
There are a number of predictable recommendations that most individuals approaching a divorce could probably guess. Many of them have some validity, so they may merit some review:
- Do not post negative comments about your ex.
- Avoid sharing details about your custody arrangements online.
- Do not engage in verbal disputes with your former in-laws over social media networks.
- Be careful about posting content that shows you during your parenting time or that reveals details about your lifestyle.
As predictable as they are, these recommendations can often form a useful starting place for individuals struggling to come to identify the most common social media mistakes during divorce so that they can adopt sound practices for their own protection and that of their children. An experienced divorce lawyer in Fairfax with DiPietro Law Group may be able to advise you regarding strategies for avoiding the pitfalls that are most likely to arise in your own unique situation.
What Not To Post During Divorce
Many of the social media mistakes individuals fall into during divorce are extensions of a habit of “oversharing,” or being incautious about privacy controls (or both). While these habits may only be mildly embarrassing in some situations, in the context of an ongoing divorce case the details one spouse posts to his or her social media may be used as evidence in court, to suggest that he or she has more money than disclosed, to cast doubt on his or her commitment to responsible parenting, or to otherwise present the spouse who has posted the content in an unfavorable light.
The perceptions created by the collection and selective entry into evidence of an individual’s social media posts during a divorce case can impact numerous aspects of the final divorce decision, from the division of marital property to the determination of child custody and the allocation of spousal maintenance (alimony) under § 20-107.1, Code of Virginia, and beyond. For these reasons, it is usually a good idea to pause before posting any of the following:
- Photos of yourself with a new partner
- Details about your dating life, if you begin dating while your divorce is underway
- Photos or text posts of dining, vacations, or other leisure activities, particularly if they are expensive
- Photos of your children (especially during your parenting time)
- Any material, photographic or otherwise, relating to the use of any controlled substances (including alcohol)
Even if you think the post you are about to share is “safe” or “harmless,” there is rarely an emergency need to post personal information online. Consider waiting until you can discuss a framework for your social media activity during divorce with an experienced Virginia attorney.
Are Texts Used in Divorce Court?
Contemporary popular usage varies in terms of whether individuals regard direct “texting” via SMS (short message service), MMS (multimedia message service), or RCS (rich communication services) as forms of “social media.” For the purposes of strategizing how to avoid social media mistakes during divorce, however, you may benefit from treating these messaging apps as forms of social media whether you normally think of them in that way or not, as texts used in divorce court can provide devastating evidence.
Some of the most common questions Virginia divorce attorneys receive revolve around “Should I text my wife during separation?” or “Do I have to avoid contact during separation?” The precise risks involved will always depend to some extent on the specifics of your own separation and divorce; some divorcing couples are on excellent terms with each other and with their soon-to-be-former in-laws, while other divorces are fraught with years of family conflicts. As a rule, however, it is generally safest to err on the side of less, rather than more, contact with your ex and his or her family members while your divorce is pending. If you are working with a divorce lawyer, you may also wish to have him or her handle all incoming communications related to your divorce.
Contextualizing Social Media Use During Divorce
Most online behavior divorce advice available on the internet tends to be generic. Often, this lack of specificity is by design: Narrowly targeted advice that is intended for a carefully defined situation can be harmful, even devastating, when incautiously applied to another context. As a result, many sources of divorce and social media tips stick to general principles that can be useful in almost any situation that might call for a heightened level of caution regarding one’s social media activity.
One rule to keep in mind, however, is that your own situation and the circumstances surrounding your own divorce can have a significant impact on the advisability of any given course of action. Blocking and unfollowing your former spouse’s family during divorce may be a wise choice in a high-conflict parting of the ways. On the other hand, in situations where the divorcing spouses have generally cordial relations with each other’s families, such a move might cause unnecessary offense – particularly if there are grandchildren, whose photos and personal milestones you regularly share to your accounts, involved in the family dynamic. Rather than adopting any “rules” designed to avoid social media mistakes in someone else’s situation, pause to consider whether the recommendations align with the reality of your own relationships as they currently exist.
Speak With a Divorce Attorney in the Fairfax Area
If you are moving through the process of a Virginia divorce, how you manage your social media presence during this period can have a substantial impact on how the final decision in your case takes shape. As many family law attorneys will tell you, one of the most important things a divorce client can do is often to simply avoid introducing new problems and challenges to their own case. Avoiding social media mistakes during divorce will not necessarily ensure the outcomes you want, but can prevent some of the more common complications that sometimes arise in contemporary divorce cases. To learn more and gain the benefit of personalized guidance, schedule a consultation with a Virginia divorce lawyer at DiPietro Law Group. Call (866) 607-3461 today.
