Coming to Terms With a Divorce Court Order That You Don't Like

Divorce is about compromise; nobody walks away fully satisfied. But what if you made most of the compromises, and your ex received the better deal? Modification may be possible down the road, but for now, inner peace will only arrive if you make the most of your present situation. These tips will help you come to terms with your divorce court order:

Acknowledge Small Victories
Few divorcees walk away with nothing. Perhaps you received extensive visitation time or retained an item of significant sentimental value. These victories may seem like little in the face of disappointment, but they’re still worth acknowledging. Write a list featuring each and every positive outcome, and read it whenever you ruminate on your divorce.

Consider the Silver Linings
Silver linings always exist, even in difficult divorces. Perhaps your spouse walked away with the house or the vacation property. Count this as a win; upkeep can be shockingly expensive, especially for a one-income household. If you received fewer visitation hours than desired, use your free time to pursue new hobbies or to advance your career. Not happy with how many sentimental items you received? Consider the Kondo method; would these objects really have delivered happiness? Instead of mourning material possessions, embrace a minimalist lifestyle.

If you fail to release resentment concerning your divorce, you could eventually suffer full-blown depression. Tackle mental health issues head-on; find a therapist you trust, and meet regularly to discuss lingering feelings of anger or helplessness. Meditation and yoga can also help you deal with ongoing divorce rumination.

Later Modifications
Time has passed, and your circumstances have changed. It may not be too late to get the resolution you want. Modifications may target your visitation schedule, alimony award or child support. Modification is more likely following unemployment, extensive medical bills or other traumatic circumstances that hamper your ability to pay child support. Custody modification may be available in cases involving child abuse.

When to Appeal Your Divorce
Divorce appeals can be expensive and legally complicated, and the burden of proof on the appellant is significant. Bear in mind that an appeal is not merely a second shot at a preferred outcome; it’s an opportunity to demonstrate the initial court’s errors. Only strongly compelling circumstances can convince appeals courts to reverse existing divorce judgments.

If you’re still in the early stages of separation, now is the time to act to get what you need from the process. If your divorce is already finalized, you may be able to pursue post-divorce modification or an appeal.

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