Adoption is almost invariably more complicated, expensive, and time-consuming than would-be parents assume. Those who already have biological children, however, are at least somewhat tuned into the realities of childrearing. New parents face a steeper learning curve. Many hold the following misconceptions:
Adoption Will Lead to Biological Children
You've probably seen this phenomenon play out among loved ones or in pop culture: Aspiring parents try desperately for a child but struggle with infertility. They eventually give up on biological children and pursue adoption instead — only to conceive shortly after bringing an adopted child home.
While no recent research regarding post-adoption conception exists, a study from 1970 suggests that 8% of women conceive after adopting. While notable, this statistic is far from a guarantee. Don't expect adoption to trigger a biological child; this will only lead to further heartbreak when you should be enjoying the new addition to your family.
Tense Relations with Birth Mothers
Parents new to adoption rarely know what to expect from birth mothers, but the experience is especially foreign for those who have not yet been through birth themselves. Many assume that, overcome with emotion, birth mothers will refuse to go through with the adoption or later take back their child. Others figure that their relationship with the birth mother will be full of strife. In reality, open adoption is increasingly common; many birth parents and adoptive parents not only get along but become integral parts of each other’s lives. Every case is different, of course — sometimes, distance is preferable. In general, however, vitriol between birth and adoptive parents is uncommon.
Attachment Is Automatic
First-time parents may confuse post-birth attachment with bonding after adoption. While adoptive kids and parents can form strong bonds, these don't always develop automatically. Children may have already grown attached to other adults, such as birth parents or foster parents. Others may be too impacted by early trauma to quickly attach to a new parental figure. Those who understand this will suffer less guilt in the weeks and months following adoption.
Whether you're new to adoption or parenting in general, it's important to work with someone who can guide you patiently every step of the way. You'll be glad to have DiPietro Law Group on your side as you navigate adoption in Virginia. Call us today at (888) 530-4374, or contact us online here.