Today, more divorced parents are sharing custody arrangements. In Virginia, this often means that the non-custodial parent (the parent who has the child for fewer than 90 days per year) spends significant time with the child. As a result, there are frequent exchanges between you and your ex-spouse for picking-up and dropping-off your child. While many divorced couples handle these exchanges with dignity and respect, this isn’t always the case. Minimizing conflict is ideal and in the best interests of your child. Here are a few tips to help ensure your Virginia child visitation exchange goes smoothly.
1. Be On Time
Whether you’re picking-up or dropping-off your child, punctuality is crucial. Nothing is more frustrating than a perpetually late parent. Even if your ex-spouse is often late, avoid making matters worse by mirroring their behavior. In contentious divorces, tardiness can ultimately result in a change of child custody.
Plan ahead, factoring in traffic or other potential delays. Being on time can help reduce negative interactions with your ex-spouse and ensure your custody exchanges run smoothly.
2. Avoid Last-Minute Changes
Like tardiness, last-minute changes can be very frustrating. If you’ve agreed to a specific time and place for pick-up or drop-off, stick to the schedule. If something comes up and prevents you from adhering to the plan, communicate with your ex-spouse as soon as possible. Avoiding last-minute surprises shows cooperation and helps maintain a civil relationship.
3. Keep Private Discussions Away from the Kids
Custody exchanges are not the time to discuss matters like child support, alimony, or other private issues. These topics can spark disagreements and make your child feel uncomfortable. Always put your child’s well-being first and save adult conversations for private moments away from your child.
4. Ensure Your Child Is Prepared
Your child may have favorite items like toys or blankets that they need during their stay. Be sure to pack these essentials to avoid distress later. If your child has extracurricular activities, such as sports or karate, ensure all necessary equipment is packed as well.
By making sure your child is adequately prepared for the visit, you reduce disruptions in their routine and avoid unnecessary conflict with your ex-spouse.
5. Don’t Bring Your New Significant Other
Introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend too soon after a divorce can be sensitive. Avoid bringing your new partner to child custody exchanges. This can make your child feel uncomfortable, and it may upset your ex-spouse or make them feel disrespected.
Reducing Stress During Custody Exchanges
Depending on the circumstances of your divorce and the relationship with your ex-spouse, custody exchanges can either run smoothly or be stressful. By following the above tips, you can reduce the risk of a contentious exchange, which benefits everyone involved—especially your child.
Divorce and post-divorce issues are often difficult for the entire family. If you are facing divorce or have other family law needs, the DiPietro Family Law Group is here to support you. Our experienced family law attorneys have decades of experience handling all types of family law matters.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation with a caring professional at (888) 530-4374.