Should You Get a Divorce Or Not? Virginia Divorce Attorneys Introduce "Zero-Based Thinking"

Is it time to call a Virginia divorce lawyer or not?

Perhaps your spouse stormed off from the dinner table the other night… and has since been sleeping in a hotel. Or maybe you are on the verge of ending the relationship unilaterally, because you discovered evidence of an affair or you can no longer abide by persistent, chronic marital problems. But you are torn about what to do next.

On the one hand, part of you wants to save the marriage or at least strive to repair it. On the other hand, part of you wants to press forward with a divorce. How should you make this decision?

Here’s one thinking tool that you might find useful. Best selling author Brian Tracy calls this concept “zero-based thinking.” But many psychologists, consultants, and business leaders use variations of this idea to make decisions. Here’s the basic idea, summarized by

“Zero-based thinking (ZBT) is a decision-making process based on imagining yourself back at the point before particular decisions were made, and free to make those decisions with the knowledge that you have now about their outcome. Such decisions could be buying financial securities, hiring certain types of employees or following particular career paths, among a wide variety of other possibilities. The purpose is to avoid repeating past mistakes and to encourage actions that have worked out favorably.”

Imagine if you had never gotten married to your spouse and built a life with him or her. Would you “do it all again”? Or would you not?

This question can clarify your ultimate objectives. You might be torn about how to answer it. Or you might instantly say “yes” or “no.” If your strong intuition is that you would not have entered into the relationship, obtaining a divorce might be the natural next step. If your intuition is ambiguous, or if you would pursue the relationship anew, consider a different set of tactics to repair the damage or stop the divorce process.

In either case, you might benefit from talking with one of our Fairfax Virginia divorce lawyers right now. Call us at (888) 530-4374 to get the strategic advice you need to make better decisions and to prepare for the future.

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