Remembering and Understanding the Lessons of Your First Divorce to Get Through Your Second Divorce

Ample research indicates that second and third marriages hold greater potential for divorce. Unfortunately, this information is little comfort as you tackle the complications of yet another dissolution. If there’s one source of comfort during this difficult time, it’s the knowledge that you made it through divorce once before—and you can again. Furthermore, you know what to expect this time. Follow these steps to ensure the smoothest, most stress-free dissolution possible:

Recall What Worked

It’s easy to dwell on the worst aspects of your previous divorce, but some negotiations may have proven surprisingly productive. Think back on the most favorable outcomes. Perhaps you obtained a better alimony resolution than expected. Maybe you managed to achieve extensive visitation despite dealing with a reluctant ex. Record these successes and highlight any patterns. Did you achieve these unexpected victories in mediation, or with help from an aggressive attorney? Which negotiation tactics proved most effective?

Determine What You Can Control

Some unfavorable aspects of your first divorce were likely beyond your control. Perhaps, however, you could have achieved a better resolution with a few tweaks. Did you let emotion get the best of you in court? Did you fail to provide your attorney with documentation of all assets? Determine your personal failings the first time around and how minor fixes could transform your second divorce.

No Two Situations Are Alike

While you can—and should—apply lessons learned from your first divorce to your current split, take heed: proceedings this time could, by necessity, prove quite different. For example, you and your first spouse may have agreed on nearly all terms of your divorce and successfully saved money by undergoing mediation. You’d love to apply the tactics you found useful in mediation to this situation, but your second spouse’s behavior may force a courtroom resolution.

Remember: You Survived

Stress and anxiety are only natural in the midst of a second, more complicated divorce. When the going gets tough, take a deep breath and remember: you’ve done it all before. Remember that life went on after your initial separation, just as it will when your current proceedings come to a close.

Whether you are currently pursuing your first, second or third dissolution, you deserve high-quality representation from a trustworthy Virginia divorce lawyer. Look to DiPietro Law Group for compassionate counsel during this difficult time.

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