The thought of resuming your relationship with your ex may make you feel ill at ease, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to watch as he or she pursues a new relationship. You can’t control your ex’s love life, but you can control your response. The following tips and tricks will help you deal with this difficult news—and move on.
Avoid Your Ex on Social Media
Whether you learned of your ex’s new relationship in person, through
friends or online, limit Facebook and Instagram stalking. Consider cutting
the cord completely and unfriending your ex. At minimum, unfollow until
you resolve any strong emotions. Don’t make yourself miserable by
viewing endless photos of an ex madly in love with somebody else.
Don’t Confuse Jealousy With Love
It’s only natural to feel possessive, even if you logically know
your former spouse is entitled to move on. Don’t fall into the trap
of mistaking envy as something more; remind yourself why you pursued divorce
in the first place.
Stop Comparing Yourself to the New Love Interest
Your ex’s new beau may seem younger, smarter, more accomplished
or more attractive. None of that matters, because you don’t know
the full story. Every relationship is different; stop comparing yours.
Jump Into the Dating Market (When You’re Ready)
There’s nothing like a new love interest to distract you from jealousy
surrounding your former spouse. Only re-enter the dating market when you’re
good and ready; and only when you’re intent on finding love and
not on making your ex jealous.
Apply the Golden Rule
If, prior to learning of your ex’s new partner, you’d granted
complete forgiveness, remember how freeing that felt. Why destroy that
sense of inner peace for the sake of spite? If the situation were reversed,
you’d hope that your ex would be happy for you and your new relationship.
Apply the golden rule, and treat your ex’s new relationship with
the same respect you anticipate when you find a new partner.
You’ll find it far easier to accept your ex’s new relationship if you secure a favorable divorce outcome.