Relationship experts strongly advise against snooping. We all know it's a bad habit, but few among us can resist the urge completely. Hence the result of a Telegraph study indicating that 34% of women and 62% of men browse their partner's phone without permission. But, what happens if that 'harmless' glance unearths shocking revelations? Proceed with caution. The wrong response could spell the end of your relationship — or worse.
Read on for best next steps for dealing with this difficult situation.
Take Time to Process This Development
Resist the urge to confront your spouse the moment you see something you don't like. Instead, take a moment to process the situation and determine whether it's as awful as your knee-jerk reaction suggests. If, after a few hours, you come to the same conclusion, determine when, where, and how you'll approach your spouse. The more you plan, the easier the eventual confrontation will be.
Technology complicates human interaction. Two people can draw completely different interpretations from a simple phrase. A message you view as confirmation of cheating may, in fact, be an innocent interaction between coworkers. Instead of approaching your spouse with an accusation, ask for clarification. You may discover that the information you stumbled upon wasn't so bad after all. If, on the other hand, the discovery was just as bad as suspected, ask additional questions for further understanding.
Don't Use Your Discovery to Justify Your Behavior
No matter your spouse's transgressions, it was wrong of you to snoop. Acknowledge this early, and remind your spouse that two wrongs don't make a right. At this point, it really doesn't matter how you found out — you need to move forward with this information.
Determine What This Means For Your Marriage — And Next Steps
Equipped with this new knowledge, can you justify moving forward with your marriage? Snap judgments aren't necessary, but it's important to think through the matter. Journaling, meditation, or therapy may help. If your spouse agrees, sign up for marital counseling. Digital concerns play an increasingly prominent role in modern relationships. You need a Virginia attorney who understands the implications of mobile technology in your divorce.