Common Divorce Scenarios

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Divorce is as varied as the people involved, and the process is never the same. As you proceed toward filing for divorce, be sure to understand how the divorce might play out depending on factors, including whether you and your spouse have children, you have a high net worth divorce, or even whether a business is involved. Learn the answers to common questions about prenuptial agreements, online dating after a separation, child custody agreements and more.

What Exactly Constitutes a “High Net Worth” Divorce?

According to the legal definition provided by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), a high net worth divorce involves an individual with a personal net worth, or a couple with a joint net worth, that exceeds $1 million at the time of filing. Another way of defining the concept involves counting recent personal income. If you earned in excess of $200,000 in each of the past two fiscal years — or if you and your spouse earned a joint income of over $300,000 during that same period — your marriage might be considered “high net worth.”

Assets accumulated during a marriage can make life fun and easy, but these same assets can create unique challenges during divorce. Common issues that you might face include:

  1. How to distribute holdings fairly and evenly;
  2. What to do if you suspect that your spouse (or his or her family) is hiding assets;
  3. How to enforce or contest a prenuptial agreement.

What Are the Most Commonly Contested Assets?

Asset valuation is extremely important, and the process can be subjective and can spark rancor between the two parties. Common assets might include real estate, property, 401(k) accounts, stocks, investments, retirement funds, business entities, and other physical property. In a high net worth divorce, each side typically evaluates assets with professional assistance.

Business Ownership During Divorce in Virginia

When spouses share or co-own a business, complications can arise for the business itself as well as for its employees and clients. Here are three common scenarios. First, the business could be sold or liquidated. The spouses could then divide the proceeds and move on. Second, one of the spouses can purchase the other’s interest in the company. Third, both spouses can work out an arrangement to continue operating the company after the marriage ends.

How Is the Marital Estate Distributed in Virginia?

In Virginia, all marital property is subject to equitable distribution, while separate property usually remains separate after the divorce. While marital property is subject to equitable distribution, don’t confuse this concept with equal distribution. The courts will consider each party’s relationship to individual assets, including monetary and non-monetary contributions, ongoing maintenance, care, and acquisition.

Do Spouses Ever Try to Hide Assets or Property?

Yes. People can and do hide assets and property. For example, a spouse might quietly transfer money from a joint account into a separate account, transfer assets to a friend, overpay the IRS, delay a promotion or raise, or create fake expenses. Some tactics are hard to uncover and harder to prove. In addition to being obviously unethical, such behavior can constitute criminal action and merit criminal punishment.

Protecting Privacy During a High Net Worth Divorce

High net worth divorces can be heated, and depending on the circumstances, highly emotional for the parties involved. Local or even national news outlets might take an interest, depending on the nature of the split, the people involved and the assets at stake. To protect your privacy, change online passwords and account information, limit important conversations to face-to-face discussions, gather important financial documents and store them in a private place, and be careful what information you share about the divorce and with whom.

The Impact of Social Media on Divorce

Be careful when taking to Twitter, Facebook, your personal blog or even Instagram after a divorce: pitfalls abound. For instance, let’s say that you’re really mad about your husband’s infidelity. You rant about him on Facebook and post unflattering pictures of him with the other woman. Your husband’s attorney could cite these incendiary status updates, especially if you posted racy or doctored photos or used threatening language, to urge the court to restrict your rights in a child custody case.

Rules of Etiquette for Social Media During Divorce

Don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know, and think twice before posting. If you have a potentially racy or risqué post or a picture that you’d like to upload, step away from the computer first for at least an hour. Come back when you’ve “cooled off.” By then, you can make a more sober assessment about whether to publish.

Safer Ways to Use Social Media During Divorce

After you separate from a spouse, you may find yourself craving to reconnect with friends, family, and old colleagues. You have legitimate needs for support, empathy, and good advice, and you should strive to meet those needs. The key is to find acceptable outlets.

Handling Inappropriate Behavior by Your Spouse on Social Media

If your spouse says or does anything objectionable online, you might be able to use that evidence in your case. Admissions made online can be used against the offending spouse. Snooping is not generally advised, however. Instead, speak with your divorce attorney to determine whether and how you should respond.

How Much Will Your Divorce Cost?

Divorce costs vary widely, based on the scale and complexity of the marital estate, the legal issues at play, whether or not the divorce will affect children or other dependents, whether or not the couple owns a business together, and myriad other factors.

Understanding the Indirect Costs of Divorce

In the short term, the divorce can obviously attenuate your income stream. With a reduced income stream to support your lifestyle and business needs, you could tack on credit card debt or run into budgetary shortfalls.

How to Make Divorce Less Arduous Financially

Work with a financial planner and accountant to trim the fat from your personal budget. Improve your personal productivity to regain lost time.

Dating After Divorce

This is an intimate, highly personal question. However, some powerful new sociological research suggests some basic rules. In his book, The Marriage-Go-Round, prominent sociologist Andrew Cherlin warns of the dangers of rapid re-partnering after a divorce.

How to Use Dating Services During Divorce

The best practice in Virginia is not to date during your divorce. Besides emotional and personal pitfalls, dating can have unintended legal consequences that can bear on your finances or custody and visitation.

Keeping Emotions in Check During a Divorce

Impulsive, emotional decisions can wreak havoc on a sensitive divorce process. For instance, you might, in a fit of emotional pique, “splurge” on a weekend trip to Vegas with your college friends, switch jobs suddenly, or do something outrageous on Facebook or in real life.

How to Preempt Impulsive Decisions During Divorce

First, know yourself. Even if you’ve never gone through a divorce before, you hopefully understand who you are, what drives you, and what triggers you to act inappropriately when you do.

Coming Out of the Closet During Divorce

Whether you had an epiphany that you’re gay or your spouse did, approach the situation with mindfulness and compassion. Therapy might be a positive experience. The Straight Spouse Network can also be a useful resource.

Second or Multiple Divorces

Legally speaking, if you go through multiple divorces, you may face a more sophisticated and complicated financial situation, particularly if you still owe money from the first divorce or you still collect or receive child support from it.

Succeeding as a Co-Parent

First off, to the extent that you can, forgive your ex-spouse for past trespasses, even if he or she doesn’t forgive you. Strive to weather the co-parenting challenge in a friendly, conscientious way.

How to Be an Active Listener with Your Children

Active listening, also known as “empathy,” is different from storytelling, solution-finding, and sympathy. It’s about holding up a mirror to another person – about being a sounding board as opposed to a guide.

Planning for Life After Divorce

Right now, you might find it very hard just to plan the day, let alone the weeks or months ahead. Recognize that divorce is just a temporary station in life.

Achieving a Favorable Outcome

Your divorce does not have to be clear-cut to achieve terms that are favorable to you. Whether you seek a simple and amenable separation or have complex issues at play in your case, a skilled divorce attorney can guide you through the process, leaving no loose ends and ensuring that you can move on thanks to a solid foundation established during the divorce.

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