According to Operation Safe Escape, up to a quarter of all divorces in the United States are caused by domestic abuse. The National Institutes of Health also reports that up to 80% of all couples experience emotional abuse. While physical violence is a major concern for spouses, many underestimate the life-altering effects of purely psychological abuse. The mental health effects of this abuse can be significant, and some spouses may never truly recover from their experiences. During divorce, it is important to understand how emotional abuse might affect outcomes for both victims and abusers. A conversation with an experienced divorce attorney in Virginia may provide meaningful education on this subject. Considering contacting DiPietro Law Group, PLLC at (571) 626-7389 to learn more.
Examples of Emotional Abuse During Divorce
Before exploring the implications of emotional abuse during divorce, it is important to clearly define what this term actually means. Psychology Today describes emotional abuse as a “pattern of behavior” involving insults, humiliation, and intimidation. Often, abusers use emotional abuse to control and manipulate their spouses. The National Institutes of Health identifies four “subscales” of emotional abuse, including isolation, degradation, sexual abuse, and property damage.
Isolation
Abusers often isolate their victims, and this is a clear example of psychological manipulation. For example, a spouse might have a helpful support network of family and friends. Once an abuser removes them from this network, they may become easier to control and manipulate in various ways. One form of isolation is taking away phones, computers, and other communication devices. Isolation might also involve physically preventing a spouse from leaving their home. Not only is this an example of emotional abuse, but it is also a crime called false imprisonment.
Degradation
Degradation might include verbal insults, humiliation, and similar forms of emotional abuse. The purpose of degradation is to destroy the self-esteem and confidence of the victim. With constant put-downs and humiliating situations, the victim may lose the will to stand up for themselves. The National Institutes of Health notes that degradation is a very common form of emotional abuse, and it may involve insults uttered both in private and in public. Abusers might also humiliate their spouses in front of others to cause higher levels of degradation.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is one of the most psychologically damaging things a spouse can endure during marriage. A legal marriage does not allow a spouse to engage in sexually abusive behavior, and the need for consent still exists. The National Institutes of Health notes that many victims report being forced to engage in “perverse” sexual acts by their abusive spouses. Others feel pressured into having sex against their will.
How Property Damage Can Affect Divorce
Although property damage may not seem like an obvious form of emotional abuse, it can cause serious psychological issues for victims. Technically speaking, a pet is a type of “property” under Virginia law. An abusive spouse might harm or kill a pet that belongs to a victim, possibly as a means of intimidation or retaliation. Property damage is common during divorce, as spouses may be tempted to burn expensive items, graffiti beloved cars, smash the walls of a family home, and so on.
This type of property damage can have serious consequences during equitable distribution. When family courts in Virginia attempt to divide property in an equitable manner, they may consider past instances of property damage. For example, an enraged spouse might have destroyed an expensive vintage vehicle belonging to their ex. The court would then subtract the value of the destroyed property from the marital property the guilty spouse is eligible to receive. In other words, destroying property during divorce is a poor decision that will only lead to consequences for the guilty spouse. In contrast, the other spouse will not lose any assets from their share of the marital property.
How Emotional Abuse Can Affect Child Custody
Emotional abuse can also have a significant effect on child custody during divorce. Family courts in Virginia consider various factors when determining the best interests of a child during divorce. Past emotional abuse is one of these factors, and courts will carefully consider whether any family member has engaged in sexual abuse, child abuse, threats, or similar misconduct. Depending on the circumstances of the emotional abuse, a family court judge may decide to limit the custody rights of a parent. If the emotional abuse was particularly severe, a guilty parent may only have supervised visits with a child.
Note that emotional abuse could become a relevant factor in custody decisions even if the child was not the victim. For example, one parent might have emotionally abused the other parent without ever harming the child. In certain situations, family courts may consider whether a parent emotionally abused more distant family members, such as dependent seniors who live in the same household. Some courts have even considered animal abuse when approaching custody decisions. For example, a parent might have harmed or killed the family dog during the marriage – and this may have traumatized their child.
How to Prove Emotional Abuse During Divorce
The burden of proof lies with the accuser in divorce cases. In contrast, the spouse who faces accusations of emotional abuse does not necessarily need to prove their own innocence. Victims who want to prove that they have experienced emotional abuse must establish a “preponderance of evidence.” A preponderance of evidence shows a likelihood of more than 50%. In other words, it should be obvious that the past abuse “more likely than not” occurred.
Due to the intimate and private nature of emotional abuse, meeting this threshold can be challenging. An experienced family law attorney from DiPietro Law Group, PLLC may be able to help victims gather compelling evidence during this process, including video footage, mental health diagnoses, expert medical witnesses, eyewitness accounts, smartphone data, and much more.
Learn More About Divorce With DiPietro Law Group, PLLC
Spouses who believe they have been emotionally abused by their exes should take action during divorce. Although it might seem daunting to speak out about these experiences, family courts in Virginia may provide a pathway toward justice and closure for victims during divorce. With evidence of abuse, victims can experience positive outcomes in various areas of divorce. These revelations might also lead to negative consequences for abusers. Consider speaking with an experienced divorce attorney in Virginia to explore these possibilities in more detail. Remember, a consultation with a lawyer is completely confidential due to attorney-client privilege. To learn more about the next potential steps, consider contacting DiPietro Law Group, PLLC at (571) 626-7389.
