Dealing with “I Told You So” After a Failed Relationship

You received countless warnings about your ex — and you ignored them all. Now, smug friends and family members are making a painful situation that much worse. You don't deserve their ire. Follow these suggestions to keep the naysayers quiet:

Understand Why People Use this Phrase
"I told you so" often masks a separate issue. For example, parents may use the phrase to express hurt because they don't feel valued by their children. The better you understand the hidden messages behind this talking point, the less offense you'll take.

Mention “I Told You So” Before the Other Person Can
Sometimes, it's best to tackle the white elephant in the room. If you expect the phrase "I told you so" will appear as you discuss your divorce, acknowledge that you received ample warnings about your ex — and that reminders cause you great pain. Some people don't understand the suffering "I told you so" can cause; alert them early on and they just might avoid the damaging phrase altogether.

Use this Easy Two-Word Response
"I told you so" is a recipe for an argument, especially if you hit back with an equally snarky comment. Struggling to remain civil? Communications expert Deborah Grayson Riegel recommends the following two-word response: "You did." This simple answer acknowledges the other person's previous contribution without casting blame or judgment. It's not an easy phrase to utter, but it will demonstrate your personal poise, and hopefully, end an unwanted conversation.

Crack a Joke
Depending on your relationship with the smug individual, you can defuse tension with a quick joke. For example, Riegel recommends asking sarcastic types: "Who do you think you are — my mother?" Proceed with caution; this approach can cause offense when used with the wrong person.

Avoid “I Told You So” Types
Often, you can anticipate exactly who will say "I told you so" and in what situation. During this emotionally charged time, it's best to avoid unsupportive individuals whenever possible. Avoidance won't be a workable solution forever, but it can provide a modicum of relief as you deal with a myriad of other stressors.

You receive enough unfair judgment from your loved ones — there's no room for it in your attorney-client relationship. Thankfully, you can count on DiPietro Law Group, PLLC in Georgia for compassionate support. Contact us today to schedule a case consultation.

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