Relationship experts strongly advise against snooping. We all know it’s a bad habit, but few among us can resist the urge completely. A Telegraph study revealed that 34% of women and 62% of men browse their partner’s phone without permission. But what happens if that ‘harmless’ glance unearths shocking revelations? Proceed with caution — the wrong response could spell the end of your relationship, or worse.
Read on for the best next steps in dealing with this difficult situation.
Take Time to Process This Development
Resist the urge to confront your spouse immediately after seeing something disturbing. Instead, give yourself time to process the situation and determine whether it’s truly as awful as your initial reaction suggests. If, after a few hours or more, you still feel the same way, consider how, when, and where to approach your spouse. Thoughtful planning can make the eventual confrontation less explosive.
Seek Clarification
Technology often complicates human interaction, leading to different interpretations. A message you see as a sign of cheating may, in reality, be an innocent exchange between coworkers. Instead of immediately accusing your spouse, ask for clarification. You may discover the information you found wasn’t as bad as you thought. If your suspicions are confirmed, continue to ask questions to better understand the full situation.
Don’t Use Your Discovery to Justify Your Behavior
Regardless of your spouse’s transgressions, snooping was wrong. Acknowledge this early in the conversation and remind both yourself and your spouse that two wrongs don’t make a right. How you found out is now secondary — the focus should be on addressing the current issues and moving forward with this new information.
Determine What This Means for Your Marriage — and Next Steps
With this newfound knowledge, can you justify continuing the marriage? While snap decisions aren’t necessary, take time to thoughtfully consider your options. Journaling, meditation, or therapy may be helpful tools in your reflection. If both parties are willing, marital counseling can help navigate the next steps. Given that digital concerns are increasingly prevalent in relationships, you may need a Virginia attorney who understands how technology affects modern divorce cases.
Look to the experienced Virginia divorce and family law attorneys at DiPietro Law Group, PLLC, for cutting-edge counsel and representation. Contact us today at (888) 530-4374.